I didn't want to love it, and I apparently skipped a season and a half, but Glee grew on me so fast! I love it!!!! The music, the characters, the plots, the dancing. All are totally awesome and I wish we'd had a club like this in my school. We did have chorus, and we did do a play once a year, but this would have opened up doors I never would have thought to open.
Teen mom I practically lived in my early twenties so I'm not so big on this show. However, if they don't take that one girl's baby away, the one who ignores her kid and beeats her boyfriend, I will be sorely disappointed. I think the most rresponsible parents on that show were the ones who gave their baby up for adoption. The other girls seem to be doing ok, but that one girl, grrrrrrrrrrrr.
I'm loving Animal Planet's "It's Me or the Dog" with Victoria Stillwell. she totally knows what she's doing when it comes to training.
That's about it tonight. I'm tired and I've got to get up to bed.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
To Dad, With Love
So this weekend was the harvest dinner at our local fire department. It was pretty good too! We went last year and I wasn't impressed although D was, so we went again this year. We walked over, it's not far from our house and we figured we'd need a good walk afterwards, anyway. We try to get there early because there's always a line and it doesn't get any shorter for a couple hours!
We're standing in line, talking to each other, when D overhears conversation behind us and totally switches to them. This happens ALL the time. He's the extrovert in this relationship by far. If it was me I would've ordered the take-out version of the dinner and ate at home. Actually, I would've skipped it all together if I was really being honest. Anyway, we start talking about cable, special-to-us channels, and the Amish. It was really nice!
Finally the line starts moving and we go in to pay. As I'm writing out a check I notice that the woman taking my money must have had a serious fall. Her eye was black and blue and her arm appeared to be broken or sprained. Now this woman is probably in her 90's now, but you wouldn't know it. She has the attitude of a much younger person. It was really good to see her again.
When we sat down to dinner and started passing plates around, we realized we were sitting with the same people we sat with last year! On the opposite side of the room and table but definitely the same folks! How amazing is that? We had good conversations and the food was great! Last year the gravy was sobland but this year it was just the right blend of spices.
The harvest dinner consists of turkey, gravy, stuffing, coleslaw, squash, carrots & peas, and rolls. Oh yeah, and cranberry sauce, yuck! It's served just like you would serve your own dinner - in bowls and on platters - and everyone passes the food to each other. It was like we were a huge family! For dessert we got to pick from a huge selection of pie and cake. I chose cherry pie and was not disappointed!
That's what we did this weekend, but before I sign off, and this was the reason I wrote in the first place, something happened in that old fire hall while we were there. I saw my dad. Except it wasn't my dad because he passed away ten years ago. No, I did not see a ghost. I do believe in them, but I know my dad is in heaven. No unfinished business.
No, we were finishing up our dinner when a couple from another table got up and walked over to the end of ours. They were probably ten feet away from us and when I looked over there was a man that looked so much like my dad. He was shorter, not as long in the torso as dad, but he was wearing a plaid flannel shirt with dress pants and suspenders. And he had a blue cap on his head like my dad would wear. I nudged D. I told him to look at the end of the table. I told him that the man there looked like my dad. Then I stared down into my cherry pie and tried to still the tears that built up so damn quickly.
I miss my dad. I miss him alot. Just as we were really starting to get to know each other - as adults - I lost him. But he taught me a lot and I feel him close to me in my heart. And I felt him close to me that day at the harvest dinner. So today's blog is dedicated to my father.
To my dad, with love, me...
We're standing in line, talking to each other, when D overhears conversation behind us and totally switches to them. This happens ALL the time. He's the extrovert in this relationship by far. If it was me I would've ordered the take-out version of the dinner and ate at home. Actually, I would've skipped it all together if I was really being honest. Anyway, we start talking about cable, special-to-us channels, and the Amish. It was really nice!
Finally the line starts moving and we go in to pay. As I'm writing out a check I notice that the woman taking my money must have had a serious fall. Her eye was black and blue and her arm appeared to be broken or sprained. Now this woman is probably in her 90's now, but you wouldn't know it. She has the attitude of a much younger person. It was really good to see her again.
When we sat down to dinner and started passing plates around, we realized we were sitting with the same people we sat with last year! On the opposite side of the room and table but definitely the same folks! How amazing is that? We had good conversations and the food was great! Last year the gravy was sobland but this year it was just the right blend of spices.
The harvest dinner consists of turkey, gravy, stuffing, coleslaw, squash, carrots & peas, and rolls. Oh yeah, and cranberry sauce, yuck! It's served just like you would serve your own dinner - in bowls and on platters - and everyone passes the food to each other. It was like we were a huge family! For dessert we got to pick from a huge selection of pie and cake. I chose cherry pie and was not disappointed!
That's what we did this weekend, but before I sign off, and this was the reason I wrote in the first place, something happened in that old fire hall while we were there. I saw my dad. Except it wasn't my dad because he passed away ten years ago. No, I did not see a ghost. I do believe in them, but I know my dad is in heaven. No unfinished business.
No, we were finishing up our dinner when a couple from another table got up and walked over to the end of ours. They were probably ten feet away from us and when I looked over there was a man that looked so much like my dad. He was shorter, not as long in the torso as dad, but he was wearing a plaid flannel shirt with dress pants and suspenders. And he had a blue cap on his head like my dad would wear. I nudged D. I told him to look at the end of the table. I told him that the man there looked like my dad. Then I stared down into my cherry pie and tried to still the tears that built up so damn quickly.
I miss my dad. I miss him alot. Just as we were really starting to get to know each other - as adults - I lost him. But he taught me a lot and I feel him close to me in my heart. And I felt him close to me that day at the harvest dinner. So today's blog is dedicated to my father.
To my dad, with love, me...
Friday, September 24, 2010
Mothers & Daughters
I'm one of those daughters who has never been able to grow up in her mother's eyes, therefore still a child in my own. However, I would love my daughter to grow up and become self-sufficient instead of relying on the state and the family around her. Maybe it's because I've felt the burden of being the good daughter for so long. Maybe it's because I resent her neediness and my mother's too. I for once would like to be just me and not who I'm expected to be.
I know my mother is angry at me for her decisions of the last few weeks. It isn't my fault she made the decisions she has. She has free will and by God she exercises it daily. But she has made decisions regarding my child that I asked her to step away from entirely. I asked her to respect my decisions and my position as a mother and I was blatantly ignored. She ended up in a predicament that she hadn't bargained for and I didn't try to help. Therefore, I am a bad daughter.
My daughter is by all means an adult. Just because she refuses to take responsibility for herself does not mean she is still a child. When she walked out of my house two years ago at 18, dropped out of school, and chose to shack up with the first boy she ran into, she chose to be an adult. I chose to treat her like one and this past spring I almost had her believing that she could take responsibility for her actions (or poor judgement). Then my mother stepped in and undid what my daughter and I had accomplished.
Am I angry? You bet I am. Is this always the way between us? Mothers and daughters, do we ever get out of the cycle? Or will it someday be too late and I'll look back and think, I should have just kept my mouth shut? Oh yeah, that's what I've been doing all along.
So, I guess what I need to do is tell my mother how I feel and to tell her to stop defying me in all things to do with my daughter. She had her chance with me and if she thinks she blew it, well, she's got three step daughters that are pretty successful and she can still claim that on her mother resume.
Just venting tonight. It's been rough with all this and other things too. Any advice is welcome, just remember that I'm human. And I do realize my mother is too, as well as my daughter.
I know my mother is angry at me for her decisions of the last few weeks. It isn't my fault she made the decisions she has. She has free will and by God she exercises it daily. But she has made decisions regarding my child that I asked her to step away from entirely. I asked her to respect my decisions and my position as a mother and I was blatantly ignored. She ended up in a predicament that she hadn't bargained for and I didn't try to help. Therefore, I am a bad daughter.
My daughter is by all means an adult. Just because she refuses to take responsibility for herself does not mean she is still a child. When she walked out of my house two years ago at 18, dropped out of school, and chose to shack up with the first boy she ran into, she chose to be an adult. I chose to treat her like one and this past spring I almost had her believing that she could take responsibility for her actions (or poor judgement). Then my mother stepped in and undid what my daughter and I had accomplished.
Am I angry? You bet I am. Is this always the way between us? Mothers and daughters, do we ever get out of the cycle? Or will it someday be too late and I'll look back and think, I should have just kept my mouth shut? Oh yeah, that's what I've been doing all along.
So, I guess what I need to do is tell my mother how I feel and to tell her to stop defying me in all things to do with my daughter. She had her chance with me and if she thinks she blew it, well, she's got three step daughters that are pretty successful and she can still claim that on her mother resume.
Just venting tonight. It's been rough with all this and other things too. Any advice is welcome, just remember that I'm human. And I do realize my mother is too, as well as my daughter.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
It's a Wrap!
I was going to write about my troubles and woes of the week but I can't. I can't do that to you. I will write about my highlights instead!
A couple weeks ago I won a Unibinder on facebook through the Unibind Company - that arrived on Wednesday and I was so excited because I'm usually not around when things get delivered, but I was this time! I saw the UPS truck pull up in front of the house and ran out on the porch. D told the driver that he was my most favorite person today because I had been waiting for that package! As soon as we got it inside - 2 boxes - we opened them and took pictures. It was an awesome prize! I love to scrapbook, and take pictures, and write, and now I will be able to bind my own books for a small cost of the cover! It's pretty neat and I'll be able to make my own gifts! I installed the software and played around with it yesterday afternoon for a little while!
I updated my resume this week too. I know it doesn't sound like a highlight, but it is. Looking at the finished product I realize that I am smart and that I have some good experiences to share.
My daughter's boyfriend's children - what can I say? I love those kids so much! Every time I see them they give me these amazing hugs and I feel amazing after! These kids are so resilient, and they deserve so much more. I want to be that one stable adult that they can depend on. Smart as whips and loving as the day is long, they deserve some happiness and stability and hopefully as they grow I can give that to them.
Did I ever tell you I'm a Fiskateer? I just finished up an ATC (Artist Trading Card) challenge and sent them in to the challenge coordinator yesterday. I love this group! I love to scrapbook and have at least a dozen finished books sitting behind me right now as I type, plus others that are in progress over on my desk. This group has challenged me in the way I scrap - from on line crops to new ideas, like the trading cards, to reaching out. When I post my projects on my profile, people actually reach out and let me know what they think of it. People that seem to look at life kind of like me! Even though they're on-line and miles away, I still consider them my friends. They are such good people!
Oh, and the weather is great the last couple days! We were able to pull up all our tomato plants, and today we're going to do the rest of the gardens and get them ready to plant garlic. This will be our first year trying this so we're real excited!
Yesterday, I was feeling a little down. I feel like I've lost control somewhere along the way and I was sitting on the front porch, sorting tomatoes and praying. A dragonfly flew by me and I looked at it. It was just a small red-bodied dragonfly, no more than two inches long. I love dragon flies, and usually way before now I've sat out and had several land on me. Not this year. When I saw it I greeted it. If you know me I talk to everything except people. I don't know why except maybe I feel I won't get turned away by everything else.
Like I said I was feeling down and saw the dragonfly. I asked it where it had been all year and that I was really glad to see it. I took it as a sign that things will get better, for me and my child. It flew off and I turned my attention back to the tomatoes. A couple minutes later it landed on my hand. I felt the grace of God come over me and I whispered thank you to his messenger. I was able to shake off my feelings of dread and to feel special for a moment.
Thank you.
A couple weeks ago I won a Unibinder on facebook through the Unibind Company - that arrived on Wednesday and I was so excited because I'm usually not around when things get delivered, but I was this time! I saw the UPS truck pull up in front of the house and ran out on the porch. D told the driver that he was my most favorite person today because I had been waiting for that package! As soon as we got it inside - 2 boxes - we opened them and took pictures. It was an awesome prize! I love to scrapbook, and take pictures, and write, and now I will be able to bind my own books for a small cost of the cover! It's pretty neat and I'll be able to make my own gifts! I installed the software and played around with it yesterday afternoon for a little while!
I updated my resume this week too. I know it doesn't sound like a highlight, but it is. Looking at the finished product I realize that I am smart and that I have some good experiences to share.
My daughter's boyfriend's children - what can I say? I love those kids so much! Every time I see them they give me these amazing hugs and I feel amazing after! These kids are so resilient, and they deserve so much more. I want to be that one stable adult that they can depend on. Smart as whips and loving as the day is long, they deserve some happiness and stability and hopefully as they grow I can give that to them.
Did I ever tell you I'm a Fiskateer? I just finished up an ATC (Artist Trading Card) challenge and sent them in to the challenge coordinator yesterday. I love this group! I love to scrapbook and have at least a dozen finished books sitting behind me right now as I type, plus others that are in progress over on my desk. This group has challenged me in the way I scrap - from on line crops to new ideas, like the trading cards, to reaching out. When I post my projects on my profile, people actually reach out and let me know what they think of it. People that seem to look at life kind of like me! Even though they're on-line and miles away, I still consider them my friends. They are such good people!
Oh, and the weather is great the last couple days! We were able to pull up all our tomato plants, and today we're going to do the rest of the gardens and get them ready to plant garlic. This will be our first year trying this so we're real excited!
Yesterday, I was feeling a little down. I feel like I've lost control somewhere along the way and I was sitting on the front porch, sorting tomatoes and praying. A dragonfly flew by me and I looked at it. It was just a small red-bodied dragonfly, no more than two inches long. I love dragon flies, and usually way before now I've sat out and had several land on me. Not this year. When I saw it I greeted it. If you know me I talk to everything except people. I don't know why except maybe I feel I won't get turned away by everything else.
Like I said I was feeling down and saw the dragonfly. I asked it where it had been all year and that I was really glad to see it. I took it as a sign that things will get better, for me and my child. It flew off and I turned my attention back to the tomatoes. A couple minutes later it landed on my hand. I felt the grace of God come over me and I whispered thank you to his messenger. I was able to shake off my feelings of dread and to feel special for a moment.
Thank you.
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